Man, was this a busy day. I am so wiped out it’s unbelievable. Those people here grabbed me out of bed when it was dark and rainy. Shoved a collar on me and took me outside to walk. (Usually a fine thing. Today, I would rather a few more z’s.) Then they try to make me pee in a cup. What the …!?

Into the car. Drag me all over town. Leave me sitting here. Leave me sitting there.

Then suddenly we’re in one of those things they call “dog parks”. Believe me — dogs like parks. They don’t like dog parks. Too many crazy little yappy nutballs show up and want to snip at a guy’s legs. But, I put up with it and explored around.

Suddenly, that ended. Back to the car. Drag me all over town again.

Then where am I? Oh no. It’s that place with people wearing white jackets, where they take me in the back, where I cannot see my people. And they shove needles in me. Ugh. That’s sore.

Back to the car. Drag me around again.

Sheesh. So, right now it’s time to sleep.

That’s what I wanted to do when this day started. Dogs get no respect. None.

At least, this is my version of summer. Kicking back and getting ready to dream. Now, if they just turn off that moving picture of two girls hitting a ball back and forth and back and forth and back…

There’s not much about what these people say that makes sense to us dogs. Today they’re all lazy getting out of bed — I had to bark at them in the middle of the night because they wouldn’t let me out to pee when I wanted to. They make these sounds like “Durango” (that’s me, if you didn’t catch on) and “sunday”. On and on they keep saying these things. I suppose it means “No”. Whenever they repeat something it always means “No”. Have any of you dogs ever had an owner that repeats things that mean good stuff like “treat” or “play” or “run around and act like a puppy”?

Probably not. Anyway, after a while I got the point and decided “sunday” means “hush up and take a nap”. Never one who needs encouragement to nap, I did that. With my buddy the reindeer.

My Momma (no, not my momma, my Momma) lets me sit next to her on that platform covered with red leather that she calls “kowch”. Not sure what that sound means. But, when I’m up there (she says “HUP” and I jump up and settle in), it’s so peaceful. And soft — man, those floors here are so hard.

If you look close you can see Momma’s foots behind me. She protects me.

Yesterday, that really nice woman who makes great dinners for me, took me to the place with a fence (she calls it tenniscourt) to get my zoomies out. There was a goofy fellow there — a designer dog — they sometimes are not all right in the head — who had a ball and he wanted to chase chase chase chase it. Which made his person laugh and clap. You know the type. So goofball ran around on tenniscourt a lot, to please his person and get extra treats — and that got me going and I ran around trying to shepherd him. (My job, you know.) We had a great time, the people had a great time, and it was a nice day.

But today I woke up so sore. When I’m sore I like to limp so the people here feel like pampering me. I’m getting lots of pampers and treats and hugs. And they let me on the red bed too! Great day. Tomorrow I’ll limp some more and see what they do.

That guy who tells me to be quiet all the time put me outside a while ago. I almost froze my ears off. Can you imagine me without ears? Doggone it, I was back at the door ready to kick it in, in a second. Maybe faster. So the woman who takes me for rides in her car (such a sweetie) let me sit next to her on the platform with red cow skin on top. I don’t usually get to sit here — they tell me to “get down”. She calls it a k-ouch — one of those weird people terms. This is a very handsome picture of me on the k-ouch. So comfortable.

(Don’t tell those people who live with me, but when they leave this place and drive away without me, sometimes I sit here all by myself. Shhhhh!)

Just look at that picture. Such a gorgeous snout. What a profile. This is me on top of a stack of paper. Those people here (who make me poop on the side of the road and take walks when it’s raining) call it a magasheen or something like that. (People mumble — dogs never mumble.) They said the magasheen was a joke, but, hey, I’m not a joke folks.

I’ll be doing autographs for anyone who asks.

These people are really surprising. Sometimes. Usually they are boring and don’t want to play all day, like I do. I mean — play. What’s a guy going to do if he doesn’t play? Eat? Sleep. Sure, but … PLAY!

Anyway, today they surprised me. They woke me up when the light outside came around, and I saw … Cold White!! My favorite treat. There was Cold White all over the place the day I decided to go live with these people — but back then I was kind of short and didn’t have my big guy voice. Today there was Cold White all over the place … again.  Just like the good old days. Wow!!

Of course, this guy who takes me for walks threw a cookie into the Cold White and I had to go find it. But that’s OK. My nose is a good digger. Cookies are easy to find.

And I RAN and RAN and RAN. What a day.