I like to take the guy who feeds me for a walk in this place he calls “forest” – but for me it’s just a place with lots and lots of trees to pee on. I’m pretty good at that. (Sometimes I fall over when I’m doing my business, because those trees can shove you when you’re not paying attention.) Anyway, today he yelled “Duck!” Scared the willies out me, so I grabbed the ground. All it was about was this green bird swimming in the water. This is me watching duck. I don’t understand birds. They fly over and poop on you, then sit in a tree and laugh. Not funny, I say.